I've started the lists. There are many. One is all the things I won't have time for in Berlin....I am already waxing nostaligic about this place...how it will go on, unpreturbed, by my departure. I am falling in love with this city . I wish I could live multiple lives at once.
This trip has been good for me, in many ways I've re/gained some confidence regarding my career. I can see now how one builds a research program. I can see how you don't need to be Einstein to do so.
I was up at 5 (AGAIN) with Artemis. It was a beautiful morning, so we went on a walk. The city is very quiet on Sundays, especially at 6 am. We found a park and played building water ways with sand. When she wanted me to sing hush little baby while she lay on a hammock, I decided it was time to walk home. She fell asleep, of course, 5 minutes from home, so I streched two blocks home into 30 minutes.
We (I) were absolute shattered by a trip to the beach yesterday. It was a beautiful day and the beach was packed with Berliners. We had a good time - especially Nemy who loved the huge inflatable slides. I took her out to the waterslide in the middle of the lake. Fun, but not a simple feat: we had to wait in line, and I had to hold her while treading water, then catch her while treading water, and haul her back in. Surprisingly little nudity here. Disappointed, naturally. I like to see the humanity of it all.
I feel so torn - I would love to stay here, I would. But I would miss my life in Canada, I know that too. Our lives are very different here. You are not focused on your house/your home. Life takes place mostly outside of the house. I think it would be an interesting study to compare cultures in how much time is spent at home. Europeans spend a lot of time out - eating, socializing. Canadians spend most of their time in their houses/yards. What does it say about the culture? I think we hunker down on our homesteads bc so recently we were alone on the frontier. No where to go, and more importantly, nature wild and scary bearing down on us from all directions.
This has been a very cognitive post.....can I prosleytize for a moment? My anxiety peaked a few weeks ago, not unrelated to the fact I had started drinking coffee here - it is so good (who knew?). It is insidious, caffeine is, and unless you stop completely you have no idea how incapacitating it is.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Sorry folks
Sorry, but I can't seem to keep up. And frankly, between qmj and jpotd, I feel little need to go on. I never wanted a stream of consciousness blog - but that's what I've got.
OK: Tonight the girls, Nem and Y are at a fussball game at Olympic Stadium. I declined, not big on 50 000 fussball fans, and Artemis and I went shopping instead. As usual, I only bought clothes for Nem at HandM. She goes through clothes like water. I cant keep up with her.
OUr trip is rapidly running out: J and A leave next Thursday, and I panic at the mere suggestion of it. I have overloaded myself at work; there's no way I'll be done in time. NOw that things are calmer, I'd really like to hold steady for awhile. I'm not ready to leave Berlin. I feel like I have more to do here. I have a sense that I will have a history with this place.
WOrking mostly f/t hours here. Why? Well, I can, I guess. Pedro tells me that in Portugal, most middle class families have domestic help in the form of cooking and cleaning. And in Germany, most middle class families have cleaners.
ANd after the last month or so of working FT hours, it is inconceivable that it could be otherwise....
Trying to decide on Playmobil for Nems bday. SHe looked at the catalogue then promptly wrote out a list of her favourites: all except the very most rough and tumble boy sets.
Barack is coming on Thursday. Would love to go see him, but honestly, these gargantuan crowds really kill things for me. I can't see myself waiting 3 hours in a crowd of 300 000 to see him, for all purposes, on a giant TV screen. What's the point?
OK: Tonight the girls, Nem and Y are at a fussball game at Olympic Stadium. I declined, not big on 50 000 fussball fans, and Artemis and I went shopping instead. As usual, I only bought clothes for Nem at HandM. She goes through clothes like water. I cant keep up with her.
OUr trip is rapidly running out: J and A leave next Thursday, and I panic at the mere suggestion of it. I have overloaded myself at work; there's no way I'll be done in time. NOw that things are calmer, I'd really like to hold steady for awhile. I'm not ready to leave Berlin. I feel like I have more to do here. I have a sense that I will have a history with this place.
WOrking mostly f/t hours here. Why? Well, I can, I guess. Pedro tells me that in Portugal, most middle class families have domestic help in the form of cooking and cleaning. And in Germany, most middle class families have cleaners.
ANd after the last month or so of working FT hours, it is inconceivable that it could be otherwise....
Trying to decide on Playmobil for Nems bday. SHe looked at the catalogue then promptly wrote out a list of her favourites: all except the very most rough and tumble boy sets.
Barack is coming on Thursday. Would love to go see him, but honestly, these gargantuan crowds really kill things for me. I can't see myself waiting 3 hours in a crowd of 300 000 to see him, for all purposes, on a giant TV screen. What's the point?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A bit of advice:
A rainy day. Again! The girls and I were meant to go the Botanical Garden. But Nem was up at the crack of dawn to fetch April at the airport with Jennifer (I had no idea how much they love that girl). So we stayed home most of the day.
Y biked home in the rain. And let me tell you, he does not suffer physical discomfort lightly.
Advice: Melissa: I would love to bring a bike for Popsy, but with the luggage restrictions, I simply cannot. I do recommend them highly, and you can purchase them in CA at good bike stores, or on line at Ebay. They're called Laufrads. Not a brand name, but a type of bicycle.
Michael: I cannot emphasize enough the effect of caffeine in anxiety. I was never a huge consumer of caffeine, but even still, it wreaked havoc, pretty much with everything. I feel like a veil has lifted since I stopped.
Everyone: Do not attempt a shopping trip with two tired girls, one on scooter the other on bike. You will end up carrying all four, and it is not a pretty sight.
Y biked home in the rain. And let me tell you, he does not suffer physical discomfort lightly.
Advice: Melissa: I would love to bring a bike for Popsy, but with the luggage restrictions, I simply cannot. I do recommend them highly, and you can purchase them in CA at good bike stores, or on line at Ebay. They're called Laufrads. Not a brand name, but a type of bicycle.
Michael: I cannot emphasize enough the effect of caffeine in anxiety. I was never a huge consumer of caffeine, but even still, it wreaked havoc, pretty much with everything. I feel like a veil has lifted since I stopped.
Everyone: Do not attempt a shopping trip with two tired girls, one on scooter the other on bike. You will end up carrying all four, and it is not a pretty sight.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
5 am
The usual routine is that Artemis wakes up around 430 for a little snack, then sleeps for an hour or so. Today she went back to bed at 430. Fifteen minutes later, the door slowly opened and a bicycle zoomed in. The kid is addicted to her bike. She's getting very good, and can now out do all of us on our walks (no more buggy!).
These early mornings,however, make for a long day. By the time I leave for work, Ive already been up for 5 hours.
The weather in Berlin has been uncooperative lately, cool and rainy. No more beach days.
Tomorrow April comes which will spice things up a bit. Especially since we're all sharing a bathroom!
Nemy is loving her blog and her scrap book. We are busy planning her 6th party: I think a picnic with friends in the park, maybe some soccer, and a cake. Can't make it unfortunately - no tools. I'll make one in Guelph. Im itching to exercise my culinary urges. I've been making do with very substandard fare. I'm also itching for popular culture. Realization: the illiterate cannot really consume popular culture. Give me a magazine, please! I can't remain too long in a country where Im so deaf and dumb....sure I can read books, but what I really miss is popular culture.
Im reading a diary of a woman from Berlin during the first two months of the Soviet invasion. It's all I can do to keep reading; I thought the war was bad enough. Saw pics of Berlin circa 1900 - it is unrecognizable in its splendor. The city was levelled by WW2. Im sure there were less than 10 buildings left standing.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Saturday and little istanbul ( no constantinopole)
I can compete with Melissa blogs for pure idyll. I give up. Girl, gimme some of your junk!!!
So I'll provide the gutteral, the desperate, the undone, the fetid, and sometimes slightly putrid.
Last night we took the train to the largest Turkish market outside of Istanbul. It was fantastic - and despite the deluge, I loved it. Hot breads from the tandoor ( I cant remember the mid east name), fist-sized figs, feta and olives everywhere....and the whole time crazy turks yelling at you - both the irate middle aged shoppers with their carts, and the jovial tendors - selling me a grocery bag full of cherries for 2 euros.
Sorry to disappoint the lot of you, but the Humboldt foundation funds research in Germany. A bit tricky. Don't see how it can work with Kelowna looming imminent....
Feeling strangely settled in Berlin again. I do love the city. And when Im in a simple, easy routine (not underground - how I hate subways!), and in bed by nine, Im a regular Polyanna! Oh but such a fine line - !
Forgot to write about Tobias - didn't I? I had my hair done (it was TIME, you know?) and had the pleasure of Tobias attending my frisur. He was young and had a practised lisp. He was very lovely, with soft black curls, and a black scoop necked shirt. He spoke heavily accented English, which was punctuated with Tschussi! every time a colleague passed by. He was a vision, and to his credit managed to fit 48 foils on a crown highlight alone. Surely, a record somewhere.
So I'll provide the gutteral, the desperate, the undone, the fetid, and sometimes slightly putrid.
Last night we took the train to the largest Turkish market outside of Istanbul. It was fantastic - and despite the deluge, I loved it. Hot breads from the tandoor ( I cant remember the mid east name), fist-sized figs, feta and olives everywhere....and the whole time crazy turks yelling at you - both the irate middle aged shoppers with their carts, and the jovial tendors - selling me a grocery bag full of cherries for 2 euros.
Sorry to disappoint the lot of you, but the Humboldt foundation funds research in Germany. A bit tricky. Don't see how it can work with Kelowna looming imminent....
Feeling strangely settled in Berlin again. I do love the city. And when Im in a simple, easy routine (not underground - how I hate subways!), and in bed by nine, Im a regular Polyanna! Oh but such a fine line - !
Forgot to write about Tobias - didn't I? I had my hair done (it was TIME, you know?) and had the pleasure of Tobias attending my frisur. He was young and had a practised lisp. He was very lovely, with soft black curls, and a black scoop necked shirt. He spoke heavily accented English, which was punctuated with Tschussi! every time a colleague passed by. He was a vision, and to his credit managed to fit 48 foils on a crown highlight alone. Surely, a record somewhere.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Domaene Dahlem Dorf with the girls
Sleep deprivation is directly related to mental instability. I have been sleeping when the girls sleep and am so much better for it. I was really strung out.
Today we took the bus(es) to a small, ancient farm near the university. We walked through the fields and saw the animals, and it was very low key and relaxed. However, Artemis was bitten by a wasp - she still wont let me look at it.
Now Nem and I are at home, figuring out what to do until Artemis wakes up. I miss these easy times with the girls!
So, to put a little twist in my knickers, yesterday I found out that I received my own Humboldt Fellowship. How do you like that?
Up to 18 months, 2700 Euro/month + 800 Euro/month research fees, plus spouse and child allowance, plus all our air fares and on and on and on......Its a lot of money. Plus life long association with the foundation with more support.
However, I applied for it thinking it would overlap with Ys. Problem is, requires 6 months residency, over a year (or two?).
Any how.
That's what I got.
Today we took the bus(es) to a small, ancient farm near the university. We walked through the fields and saw the animals, and it was very low key and relaxed. However, Artemis was bitten by a wasp - she still wont let me look at it.
Now Nem and I are at home, figuring out what to do until Artemis wakes up. I miss these easy times with the girls!
So, to put a little twist in my knickers, yesterday I found out that I received my own Humboldt Fellowship. How do you like that?
Up to 18 months, 2700 Euro/month + 800 Euro/month research fees, plus spouse and child allowance, plus all our air fares and on and on and on......Its a lot of money. Plus life long association with the foundation with more support.
However, I applied for it thinking it would overlap with Ys. Problem is, requires 6 months residency, over a year (or two?).
Any how.
That's what I got.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Back home?
Berlin felt like the bosom of my long lost mother this evening - so rarely am I so glad to be anywhere.
Krakow knocked the stuffing out of us. I still can't quite figure out why it was so heinously horrific and demoralizing, but it was. We (I) were exhausted, depleted, polluted and frazzled. The pace was too hectic, the space was too small, and the food was too dodgy.
Poland, as a consequence (?), feels a bit depressing to me. I feel like I would be depressed to live there - it feels European, yes, but distinctly downtrodden, the poor relation. Germany, in contrast, is ultra new and modern. Unfair, and changing, surely. But still. THe buildings are all in such ill repair and layered in decades of filth. The trolleys look like they were chugging along before the war. There is little commerce. And the food is god awful - the antithesis of my palate: heavy, doughy, starchy and bland.
Today, on the way home, we stopped at a salt mine that has been operating since medieval times - we went down deep and walked for miles on salt.
I'm feeling lost and confused. Why am I dragging my girls all over hells half acre? Nem cries for Guelph daily.
Comment, dear readers! Connect me to the world. I feel like I've fallen down the rabbit hole.
Krakow knocked the stuffing out of us. I still can't quite figure out why it was so heinously horrific and demoralizing, but it was. We (I) were exhausted, depleted, polluted and frazzled. The pace was too hectic, the space was too small, and the food was too dodgy.
Poland, as a consequence (?), feels a bit depressing to me. I feel like I would be depressed to live there - it feels European, yes, but distinctly downtrodden, the poor relation. Germany, in contrast, is ultra new and modern. Unfair, and changing, surely. But still. THe buildings are all in such ill repair and layered in decades of filth. The trolleys look like they were chugging along before the war. There is little commerce. And the food is god awful - the antithesis of my palate: heavy, doughy, starchy and bland.
Today, on the way home, we stopped at a salt mine that has been operating since medieval times - we went down deep and walked for miles on salt.
I'm feeling lost and confused. Why am I dragging my girls all over hells half acre? Nem cries for Guelph daily.
Comment, dear readers! Connect me to the world. I feel like I've fallen down the rabbit hole.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Krakow
Polish is an insane language. It seems impossible that such a long string of consonants (primarily z, j and y) could possibly convey meaning.
Krakow is a very bustling tourist town. THe old centre/square is very beautiful, convivial, full of cafes, performers and visitors. Our apartment is on a a street almost on the town square, so it is very noisy, full of horse and carriages clip clopping all night long.
Poland feels distinctly different from W Europe. As we crossed the boarder from DL, the road suddenly buckled, and we bumped and bounced the next 500 k across Poland. What else feels different? I cannot put my finger on one thing only: the Stallinesque statues in the modern city, the dreary communist style buildings, the smell of smoke in the air (strangely asian), the bagels sold in little wooden carts at every street corner, the women wearing a uniform of sorts: every woman over 30 wears a long, asymmetrical, guazy skirt and slides. It defintitely feels more untouched, more homogeneous culture (nery a starbucks to be found).
JPII is the man of the hour/year/century/millenium. His face is everywhere.
The conference is quite dull. I may not be cut out for these gatherings - make pulling out all my body hair, one by one, more desirable pursuit than sitting through talks, making chit chat.
But, John, am starting to internalize your advice. I think the choices I have been making lately are not quite what Im up for lately. The girls are up until midnight each night, running wild through the town, up at 4. Im absoultely run ragged. I cant quite keep up the pace.
I want home for a rest.
Krakow is a very bustling tourist town. THe old centre/square is very beautiful, convivial, full of cafes, performers and visitors. Our apartment is on a a street almost on the town square, so it is very noisy, full of horse and carriages clip clopping all night long.
Poland feels distinctly different from W Europe. As we crossed the boarder from DL, the road suddenly buckled, and we bumped and bounced the next 500 k across Poland. What else feels different? I cannot put my finger on one thing only: the Stallinesque statues in the modern city, the dreary communist style buildings, the smell of smoke in the air (strangely asian), the bagels sold in little wooden carts at every street corner, the women wearing a uniform of sorts: every woman over 30 wears a long, asymmetrical, guazy skirt and slides. It defintitely feels more untouched, more homogeneous culture (nery a starbucks to be found).
JPII is the man of the hour/year/century/millenium. His face is everywhere.
The conference is quite dull. I may not be cut out for these gatherings - make pulling out all my body hair, one by one, more desirable pursuit than sitting through talks, making chit chat.
But, John, am starting to internalize your advice. I think the choices I have been making lately are not quite what Im up for lately. The girls are up until midnight each night, running wild through the town, up at 4. Im absoultely run ragged. I cant quite keep up the pace.
I want home for a rest.
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